Dating websights for people with disabilities
Remembering how my first round of dates went, I decided to tweak my bio. “I’ve contemplated putting that out here, but honestly I can’t deal with any more jerks, so please save us both the time and message me only if you’re interested.
I’m completely functional in all aspects, including ‘down there.’”A handful of guys messaged me to say they admired me for being a “badass” about it.
I often ran into that awkward moment when I’d “come out” after talking to a guy for a while, and they’d act like I had just conned them.
One memorable instance: My freshman year, when I matched with an NYU freshman who I chatted with online for a month—based on our messages, I felt there was a strong connection between us—before deciding to finally meet in person. In the days leading up to the date, I contemplated telling him about my disability.
As soon as I disclose my disability to potential dates, one of the first questions they often ask is if I’m capable of performing sexual activities. Does having a disability, or at least revealing it, need to be a deal-breaker on dating apps?
Every person with a disability is different, but able-bodied people often have a one-size-fits-all notion of them; they often mistakenly think people with disabilities aren’t capable of independence or being sexually active. “I think [disclosure of your disability] needs to be written on your profile and there needs to be pictures that show you have a disability,” wrote Dr.
Tepper, “only gets your hopes up” about someone who might turn out to be “shallow and when they find out about your disability, they're like, ‘Can’t deal with that.’ So I say we put a little bit in your profile somewhere, not hide it nor highlight it.”A few weeks later, I went on another Tinder date.
“People wouldn't message back or would come up with some weird excuse. I felt like I had to tell them about my disability at one point simply because it's part of who I am.It’s just good to put who you are right up front.”Still, there is no “right” way to date with a disability, since no disability is the same, and each person deals with theirs differently.“If they're looking for a relationship, not just an impersonal physical relationship and not just an online chat relationship, then I would disclose something about my disability in my profile but I would not make it the main point of my profile,” advises Dr.At the same time, I was always so scared of being rejected.I just never know how people react.” Eventually, Glock met her boyfriend (now of four years) on Babbel, an online language learning community.