Dating after alcoholism

I wouldn’t drink at weddings, birthday parties, or any other social event, since I didn’t want to tempt him. Still, Jake would pass out on the couch like clockwork at 7 p.m.

I bought alcohol-free mouthwash, and stopped cooking with vodka sauce or wine. until the next morning, just as he had before I was aware of his drinking.

But I also think I didn’t want to see them for what they were at the time.

Friends and family would mention that Jake smelled like alcohol, but I was too busy smelling the roses.

And there it was: a half-empty pint-sized bottle of vodka in his trunk. Ultimately, it was the lying that undid the little we had left.

During the last few months we were together, everyone who came into contact with him would tell me he was drinking again — even his hairdresser. We lived together, and I could never find a trace in our home. A few days later, he called me in a belligerent state and picked a nearly incoherent fight.

Throughout our relationship, I don’t believe he ever stopped drinking.

He just got better at hiding it — until he slipped.

A year into our relationship, we were working a cocktail party together to help out my brother with his catering company. About halfway through the party, a guest pulled me aside and said, “I thought I should tell you that your bartender is inebriated.”My heart dropped. He was leaning on the wall behind the bar; he was so drunk that he couldn’t stand on his own.

Hidden amongst all the alcohol bottles, I saw a plastic cup he had been drinking vodka from.

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