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The overall challenge was to win the Queen of the Night award for the receiver of the most texts, the winner getting a £25 bonus.
The first time I achieved that lofty height, I felt oddly proud.
I did not write a best-selling novel about a girl working in a seedy part of London, but I learned how to write without pressure and self-criticism, and as a consequence I began to generate material that would later become a first draft of a short story.
That story, many years down the line, expanded into a novel. I mean, I literally just finished it.”The response came through: “NO!
It was a job on the fringes of the sex industry, but strict rules existed: no under-18s, no violence, no incest; any mention of these subjects and I had to “terminate the dialogue.” It was forbidden to give out personal information, to arrange to meet with anyone or to respond from one’s own phone rather than through the automated system.
I thought I would be shocked by these anonymous voices coming in from the night, but I quickly discovered that the sexual imagination of the average man who responds to such ads tends to be fairly predictable, so much so that generic response keys had been programmed.
I was embarrassed about doing this work, so I kept it quiet.
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In 2004 I was fresh to London and green enough to think I would establish myself as a professional writer within a year.
Not quite the wannabe actress arriving in Hollywood and waitressing, but not far off.
But I wasn’t writing, which was the whole point of my being in this city. It was a challenge to stay awake if I had been answering texts all night.
I brought my laptop to the office and devised a system. I kept trying to see through to the bigger picture, a day when I would understand the whole magnificent process of the creation of the shiny and magical product I had worshiped since the age of 3: the book!